It’s So Easy To Win New Business Today

Amazon really knew how to harsh my mellow during this past Christmas.

Nothing says “I’m the Captain now” like a one-month notice of the glorious choice of a downgraded user experience or a 26% price hike.

But Amazon is not alone.

Back on 3/27/19, Tyler Perry was bent that the hotel he was staying at was trying to jam him up for $9/bottle, so he made this Instagram post.

Then there’s the rising cost—and shrinking size—of soap.

I know I’m getting old because I appreciate these big bars of soap my mom gets me every year for Christmas. (It beats the stuff she used to get me, but I digress.)

Granted, Dove has always been curved like this, but these bars seem smaller, as do every other soap we ever get.

They are smaller, curved—to be sneakily smaller—and more expensive.

Then there’s the explosion of kiosks everywhere, from the airport to McDonald’s to Quest Diagnostics.

For the most part, I don’t mind these.

I’m an experienced traveler, so the kiosks usually save me time.

And with $20/hr wages for fast-food, these kiosks are becoming more prevalent.

I know how I like my burger, and the competency of fast food workers have continued to decline—except for In-N-Out and Chik-Fil-A—as the minimum wage has increased, so I’ll just use the kiosk or their app on my phone and place my order, which also saves me time.

But healthcare kiosks?

I mean, at least at the airport and at McDonald’s, there are humans you can talk to if you have a question or need assistance.

When I went to get my blood drawn for my annual physical, there wasn’t a human worker to be found at the front desk.

The lights were literally turned off, and a placard on the desk that basically said,…

This place was cold and dreary.

I wasn’t sure if I was in California or North Korea. (Well, California is doing its best to emulate North Korea, but I digress.)

People walked in, confused, but there was no one to help them other than fellow customers.

Sure, the phlebotomist was pleasant enough and efficient, which apparently is where the bar is now set:

Now, restaurants sneak in surcharges at the bottom of your receipt.

They say it’s for…ahhh…rising healthcare costs…yeah…and…ahhh…rising energy costs…yeah…ahhh…no…it’s due to COVID…yeah, that’s the ticket.

We saw the airlines do this with added fuel surcharges back when oil spiked in 2008, but they left them on, even when oil went to negative prices in 2020.

And don’t get me started on tipping requests.

Teenagers on their iPhones at the yogurt shop want a tip for handing me a paper sampler cup.

It’s gotten so out of hand I did this to my kids for Christmas this year…

Okay…I (probably) didn’t do that.

But I (probably) should.

But I digress.

Look…here’s the deal…

It’s really to win in business today…

Just give a shit.

Hell, just give half a shit, and you’ll crush your competition.

Maybe start with half a shit because if you gave a full shit, you’d overwhelm your prospects, and they’d think they were being set up, so ease into your shit-giving—and your shit-talking—because your competition is full of shit.

Market like you mean it.
Now go sell something.