Apr 05, 2022

129 Ways To Get a Husband...and Make Every Sale

Wes Schaeffer

Tell his friends nice things about him.

You shouldn't be bad-mouthing past customers or prospects to current customers or prospects. The smart ones will realize that soon you'll be talking about them like that, and they'll either avoid doing business with you or drive a harder bargain to prove a point and put you in your place.

Send his mother a birthday card.

This would be creepy in business but you can send a nice email and/or card to your prospect's superiors letting them know how things are going, what a pleasure it is to work with your prospect and to compliment him/her.

Ask his mother for her recipes.

This is creepy, like #78, but you can ask the prospect for their input on things they've seen on the market that they like and don't like so you know how to shape your offer.

Talk to his father about business and agree that taxes are too high!

This whole family thing is weird in business, but if you're talking to your prospect and/or her superiors, it's good to not disagree about general business or political topics, but if you do agree with them, I think it's fine to say so.

Buy his sister’s children an occasional present.

As I said in the previous few items, creeping on someone's family is pretty much off-limits in business, but if you hear that a family member of a client or prospect is a big fan of a celebrity or a collector of something like stamps and you have an opportunity to get an autograph or that collectible it will make a big impression to share that with your client. Keep in mind, though, that this needs to be a reasonable gift, i.e. you ran across a $5 or $10 stamp, not a $500 or $5,000 stamp! They might think you are trying to buy their business by going through their family, so use good judgment.

On the first date, tell him you aren’t thinking of getting married!

We want what we can't have. Playing hard to get works in sales as well as in dating but there is an art to it. When you follow The Sales Agenda you'll be off to a good start. In essence, you want the prospect to know you are not desperate, needy, or hungry. The purpose of the meeting is not to make a sale but to see if there is chemistry, a fit, a need you can solve, which requires them to be open and honest as you ask a few questions. If they're not willing to engage in dialogue then you're nothing more than a quote monkey. Good luck with that.

Don’t talk about how many children you want.

Don't talk about your quota or sales goals or prizes and trips that you've won or the kind of car you drive or anything else that may seem braggadocious. Subtle elegance is fine. Confidence is a must. But make your prospect's needs the focus, and you'll win a lot more trips.

If he’s a fisherman, learn to scale and clean fish.

Having things in common with your prospects helps them get to know, like, and trust you, but not if it's forced. With platforms like LinkedIn, you find out a lot about someone in just a few minutes. Learn how to drop in a little nugget "in passing" during your conversations and correspondence and see how quickly they warm up to you.

Don’t tell him everything about yourself at the start. Hold something in reserve.

The new ABCs of selling include "Always Be Concise." Don't drone on and on about anything. Broach a subject and see if they bite. If they do, go deeper. If they don't, go on to the next subject. What's important to you does not matter. What's important to your prospect is all that matters.

When you’re out strolling with him, don’t insist on stopping at every shop window.

When your marketing department gives you a 24-page full-color brochure and 87-slide deck complete with transitions and music, you're allowed to stop on slide #3—and not even give them the brochure—if your prospect is ready to order. Leave a little in reserve. Keep that ace up your sleeve in case you need it later.

Don’t tell him how much your clothes cost.

See #83. If your prospect is into clothes or purses or shoes or watches or shotguns or whatever, they'll know how much your stuff costs and if you have similar tastes you'll connect but don't flaunt it.

Learn to sew and wear something you have made yourself.

Learn your product and be a product of your product. If you sell Fords, drive a ford. If you sell fiber optic test equipment—like I did for many years—set the equipment up in your home and really learn it. Sure you have SEs that can travel with you or conduct remote demos and that's all well and good, but when you know your stuff you'll set yourself apart from the competition.

Don’t gossip about him.

Don't gossip about anyone ever.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." Eleanor Roosevelt

Never let him know he’s the only one, even if you have to stay at home one or two nights a week!

This goes with #85 to a degree. Build some mystique. Be more like The Shed at Dulwich.

Don’t be a pushover when he’s trying to make a date.

See #90 and #85. Years ago, I learned I don't have to answer the phone on the first ring, and I don't have to answer it 24/7. I learned that a prospect's poor planning does not constitute an emergency on my part. (But if you can help someone in need without interfering with your daughter's wedding, your anniversary plans, or missing your kid's school play, do it.) Old school sales trainers tell you not to accept the first date and time they offer to meet. That's one way. You can also have a scheduling link to your calendar and adjust the settings so that they can't book you with less than a one or two-day warning, you only show 2-3 openings per day, and they can only book you a few weeks out.

Very early in your dating, why not get a favorite song that you both regard as your own?

If you pay attention to your prospect carefully you'll pick up on an inside joke with her department, an innuendo, a pet peeve of theirs that you can reference later. If done correctly, you'll be "part of the club" and will be a deeper bond faster to help you close the sale.

Find out about the girls he hasn’t married. Don’t repeat the mistakes they made.

Find out about the competitors they have used in the past, are currently using, and/or have considered and decided against. Ask them why they switched from Brand A to Brand B. Ask them why they are considering moving from Band B to you. Ask them why they passed on Brands X, Y, and Z. Knowing why they said no may be more important than knowing why they said yes. Have the guts to dig deep and get to the truth.

Don’t discuss your former boyfriends.

Amen. Don't badmouth past clients, even if they did you wrong, and don't share info on current clients unless you have written and/or video testimonials and/or case studies from them. Keep your focus on the needs of your prospects.

If you are widowed or divorced, don’t constantly discuss your former husband.

See #94.

Be flexible. If he decides to skip the dance and go rowing on the lake, go – even if you are wearing your best evening gown.

Being flexible is fine to a degree, but if your prospects are bouncing all over the place, you need to be the calming adult in the room and get them to follow your agenda. It's not uncommon for entrepreneurs and hard-chargers to get bored easily and hop around from idea to idea. A mediocre idea fully implemented beats 100 great ideas merely discussed.

Hide your Phi Beta Kappa key if you own one – later on, Junior can play with it.

It's good to be smart. Heck, you're reading this post and made it this far so welcome to the Smart Salespeople Club. But you can come across as smug and condescending if you're not careful. A lot of salespeople try to get their own need for validation filled by pontificating to(wards) their prospects. Learn to ask more questions. Find needs and fill them. Strive to be interested instead of interested, and you'll make more sales.

Turn wolves into husband material by assuming they have honor.

There's a little reverse psychology here, and it might work. I do try to give my prospects the benefit of the doubt because I know a lot of people are under extreme pressure with little to no joy in their lives. However, we are not whipping posts for our clients and prospects. They need our solutions more than we need their money. And tough prospects need direction, guidance, and clarity, which means you need to have a backbone and set an agenda for each meeting with clear expectations from all parties. When you assume it makes an ass out of U and me.

Resist the urge to make him over – before marriage, that is!

Wow. This is a doozie. In business, if you let your prospects walk all over you from day one and set the precedent that they can call you, email you, text you, track you down on social media, and get an immediate response day or night, weekday or weekend, even holidays then you'll have a tough time breaking them of that habit. Set boundaries and ask the hard questions going into the relationship. Deciding not to do business early with someone who is a psychopath, jerk, or both is a win.

Learn where to draw the line – but do it gracefully.

See #99. You can't unring a bell. Set the tone for how the business relationship will work from the beginning or you'll be negotiating from a position of weakness.

Remain innocent but not ignorant.

Looks like McCall's was reading a little Matthew back in the day: "Behold, I am sending you like sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd as serpents and simple as doves."
If they were around today they might've quoted General James Mattis, "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet."

Make your home comfortable when he calls – large ashtrays, comfortable chairs.

Having grown up with parents and grandparents who smoked in the house, in the car, on the airplane, etc. I'm glad those days are gone. But I do enjoy a good cigar with good friends and getting to know your prospects—and giving them the opportunity to get to know you—in a more personal setting is always a good thing.

Learn to play poker.

Poker, chess, and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu all help you learn strategy, patience, endurance, creativity, when to pace yourself when to go all-in, and when to keep that ace in the hole, all of which will help you make every sale.

If he’s rich, tell him you like his money – the honesty will intrigue him!

Honesty is the best policy, even in sales.

Never let him believe your career is more important to you than marriage.

Never let your prospects believe your commission, your ego, or your success is more important than theirs. Zig Ziglar was right when he said you can get anything you want if you just help enough people get what they want.

Buy him an amusing or particularly appropriate present every once in a while. But don’t make it too expensive.

Send your prospects a handwritten note. Print out a story that applies to them and mail it to them. I had a manager—yes, you should manage your manager as much as you manage your prospects and customers—who was into Harley-Davidson. He not only had a motorcycle but he had a Harley-Davidson branded Ford truck. When I was in Hawaii on business I got him a Harley-Davidson t-shirt and sent it to him. We're still friends to this day.

Clip and mail him some funny cartoon that means something to both of you.

See #106. And yes, snail mail is still alive and well today, maybe even more so than in 1958. You need to Zig when your competition Zags.

Don’t tell dirty stories.

After growing up in the South, playing football in college, spending nine years in the military, and over 22 years in sales, I've heard a few dirty stories. I just don't tell them in a business setting. There is a time and a place for everything. Know what motivates your prospects and adjust how to sell to be in line with how they buy.

Stop being a mama’s girl – don’t let him think he’ll have in-law trouble, even if you know he will!

This seems more than a little deceiving, but we all have in-laws and out-laws in our personal/private lives. But in business, I like to over-accentuate the negatives when it comes to doing business with me. When my prospect sees that what I consider a big negative is actually a minor negative,e they relax about the other aspects of the sale, which helps us both.

Point out to him that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men.

Dang! (But how many married men wish they were dead? Doh! I'll go sit in the corner in timeout. And please don't show my wife this one.)WILD IDEAS—ANYTHING GOES

Go to Yale.

Having a pedigree still impresses some prospects, and having a well-connected circle of friends never hurts. But don't go to an expensive school just because you think it's needed to get a job. Mega companies like Google, Apple, Starbucks, Costco, and Whole Foods no longer require a college degree and more are following suit.

Get a hunting license.

Knowing how to provide for yourself is always a good thing and showing you are well-rounded and have a hobby outside of work is a good thing as well. If you have a sincere interest in the same hobby as your prospect then bring it up at the appropriate time and you'll make more sales.

If your mother is fat, tell him you take after your father. If he’s fat too, tell him you’re adopted!

OMG! Way too many salespeople will say whatever it takes to make the sale. You need to focus on the fourth sale including referrals and testimonials and conduct yourself in such a manner that all of those come naturally and easily.

Stow away on a battleship.

Or on a B-52. (Everyone knows the Air Force has better coffee, nicer golf courses, and air conditioning in our housing!) Facts tell and stories sell and having a story about stowing away on a ship or plane or something similar will come in handy more times than not. So live a little.

Rent a billboard and post your picture and telephone number on it.

Is that nicer than writing "For a good time call The Sales Whisperer®" on a bathroom wall? But it is true that out of sight = out of mind. If you were arrested for being in sales, would there be enough evidence to convict you? Be everywhere.

Paint your name and number on the roof and say, “Give me a buzz, pilots.”

Wow. See #115. However, having a niche and/or your Dream 100 target list is key to making every sale.

Start a whispering campaign on how sought-after you are.

The Sales Whisperer® approves of all whispering campaigns. See #116 and #115.

Sink at a fashionable beach at high noon!

Maybe being rescued helps you get a husband but I let prospects crash and burn on a daily basis (and regularly use their poor efforts as training and posting fodder). You're showing up to help solve problems for your prospects, not create one, so show up competent and ready to make their lives better.

Ride the airport bus back and forth from the airport.

Be ready, willing, and able to strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. I met a great prospect on the rental car shuttle bus that paid off handsomely. So dress the part and keep your eyes and ears open..

Bribe the Ferris wheel operator to get you stuck on the top of a Ferris wheel.

See #118. On the flip side, I have "Press 1 for sales" and told the person who answered that I needed a favor and asked how to get through to the decision-maker. I have been rewarded with cell phone numbers, personal email addresses, schedules, and more.

Stand on a busy street corner with a lasso.

Or wear a tuxedo and white gloves at trade shows like The CRM Butler.

Carry a camera and ask strange, handsome men if they would mind snapping your picture.

This is easy and common today with smartphones and selfie sticks. If you are entertaining, informative, and helpful with your prospects and customers they should be happy to give you a video testimonial and take a picture with you.

Ask your mother to take in male boarders.

Maybe this is like an attorney doing pro bono work or you having a deeply-discounted offering for non-profits. Just never appear desperate and internalize the tough but real adage that "you can't save every puppy in the pound."

Make and sell toupees – bald men are easy catches!

Bald is in today, which shows that trends and fads and styles change but human insecurities do not. Dig in and find out what is keeping your prospects awake at night. If you can get them to acknowledge their issues and put a dollar value on the impact, you will make that sale.

Advertise for male co-owner of a boat.

I don't want to own a boat but I do like having friends who own boats. If you have a radical new solution to an age-old problem you need to find the "bleeding-edge" early adopters to take a leap of faith with you and proudly state that they own your solution. Having real-world customers at your side will help your launch gain momentum.

If you see a man with a flat, offer to fix it.

This is potentially dangerous advice for men and women today, but if you see someone in need and you can safely help them, you should. I was kind of safe when I went to help my adopted hometown of Houston during Hurricane Harvey.

Carry a tow chain in the trunk of your automobile.

Follow the advice of the Boy Scouts and "Always be prepared." In business, that means carrying remote controls for your presentation, spare batteries, including charging sticks for your devices, adapters for projectors, business cards, pens, thank you cards, etc.

Let it be known in your office that you have a button box and will sew on bachelor’s loose buttons.

It's tough to balance being supportive of your prospects without giving away free consulting. However, if they have a favorite charity or cause they support, it's fine to sincerely support their efforts to help them see you in a different light.

Don’t marry him if he has too many loose buttons!